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Saturday 19 September 2020



As our babies start to grow and explore their world, it is natural for them to test and attempt to shift boundaries. Parents generally want to raise confident and assertive adults, but if given the choice, might prefer it if these personality traits only appear later in their lives. It’s important to remember that in many respects our little ones already have their adult character and to these little adults the limitations being forced upon them can feel just as oppressive as to an adult. Here are four tips to help battle weary parents navigate the parenting journey with a fierce and strong willed little one.


Tip #1: Use positive words


How do you describe your child? Do you use words like stubborn, wild, exhausting, cry baby or irritated? Maybe change those words to active, energetic, lively, sensitive, gentle or persistent. The latter sounds more positive and are in fact wonderful characteristics that many parents hope to see in their child.


Make sure that you use positive words when talking about your child, especially in front of them, no matter how frustrated you feel. When your child hears you using positive words, they will try to live up to those words because they will feel valued. 💙


Tip #2: Choose the right time


As parents, we often have bad timing. We might take our child to the shops late in the afternoon, when they are hungry or after they have had a busy day and then we get mad if they throw a tantrum. Hunger and tiredness play a major role in the behavior of small children.


Tantrums are not always naughty. Sometimes it is just a little person that is feeling completely overwhelmed, exhausted and hungry. Children under the age of three have an unconscious absorbent mind, which means that they are absorbing everything around them and over stimulation can happen very quickly. Their conscious absorbent mind develops between ages three and six, giving them more control over what they absorb and generally reducing their tantrums.


Tip #3: Change your response


The best thing you can do when you find yourself in a battle with your little one is to STOP, take a deep breath and instead of becoming frustrated and wanting to discipline your child, take a step back, sit down and spend a little time focusing on your child’s needs. Feed them if they are hungry or give them something to drink if they are thirsty. Sit down and cuddle them, play, build a puzzle, read a book with them and just be calm together.


I know that as grownups we are often in a rush to get things done and that slowing down to spend those extra couple of minutes with your little one seems counter intuitive, but it will provide you with a more peaceful evening and strengthen your bond.


Tip #4: Be proactive


Try to identify when your little one seems to struggle the most. If it is generally around 5 pm, make sure that they have a snack before that time, let them have some quiet time or have an early bath. Instead of going to the shops at this time, rather read a book with them, sit and draw a picture together or build with blocks. Making this time scheduled downtime, might just make all the difference!


Raising fierce and strong little ones may not always be easy and inevitably we all make mistakes, but I hope that applying these four tips will help bring more joy and ease to your journey of raising your independent and assertive little adult. 



  1. What a wonderful article! Thank you, I'll be encouraging my daughter, who has little ones of 3 and 4 years respectively, to read this!

  2. Thank you very much. I appreciate your feedback and referral. Have a great day.



    As parents, it is always important to remember that when it comes to our children, that we NEED to be on the same team, and that we ...