Our children and their screen time is a regular topic of
concern amongst parents. A source of conversation filled with many unanswered
questions and often attracting judgement or shame as well. Many parents wonder
why do we need to control screen time? How much screen time is acceptable for
kids? And how can we control our children’s screen time? Over this last year,
in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic, many of our philosophies and theories
became vague and questionable, because all of a sudden our kids had online
teaching and for many of us parents screens became a survival tool as our own
jobs fell into jeopardy or went online.
The reality
The world is evolving and technology is impacting on almost
every aspect of our lives. We as humans can fight against it as much as we want
too, but the transformation is happening and the online world is
ever-increasing. Shopping, our jobs, our children’s schooling and the world as
we know it, is all transforming into a more digital world. And with it comes
the ever increasing fear of them being swallowed into this matrix.
Find balance
Although this digital transformation is inevitable, we are
not powerless. We need to prepare our children to the best of our ability. Show
them how they can work with technology to enrich their lives, without becoming
consumed by it. As with most things in life, it is all about finding and keeping
a balance between having to use the screen and living outside of the screen.
Our relationships need to become our priority. We need to
use our relationships with each other and our children to help keep the
balance. Don’t just force your child to spend time with you, but also get to
know your child’s online world. Learn to play some of their games, watch movies
or series with them that they enjoy. We need to reach them before we can teach
them.
Practical suggestions
How can we keep our children ‘humanized’ and aware of life outside
of the virtual world and the people therein? Here are some of the practical
ways our family and friends are finding success with:
·
Limit
screen time (excluding online lessons)
When our boys were much younger, we used a green and red circle to help them
understand when screen time was (or was not) allowed. When the red circle was
displayed on the corner of the TV screen (Monday to Friday) no TV was allowed.
On a Saturday and Sunday, they would see the green circle displayed during the
times when they could watch TV.
·
Limit
devices
I do believe that this is especially important with younger children. Our boys
for instance, have to share a TV and take turns to choose what they want to
watch (from the parent approved options available to them). And because of
their different tastes, one will often go do something else while it is their
brother’s turn to choose.
·
Incorporate
other activities:
o
Physical
activities
We try to balance our children’s online lessons (first priority) with physical
activities like taking our dog for a walk, doing a skipping challenge with a
skipping rope, running up and down the stairs, cooking together, doing crafts,
building models, gardening, wrestling with our boys or having a tea party
outside.
o
Time
outside
I highly recommend that you have a look at the 1000 hours outside challenge
here: https://www.1000hoursoutside.com/blog/1000-hours-outside-2020-challenge
o
Family
time
Friends of ours, have an arrangement with their teenage boys whereby for every
hour they spend in front of a screen (TV, online games, etc.), they owe their
parents an hour, which they then use for cycling, hiking or swimming together
as a family and that works very well for them.
o
Reading
Another family we know have a screen time rule that you first need to read for an
hour before you can watch a screen for an hour. And discussions on the books
happen during dinner time, to prevent their children from taking chances.
A warning
It is incredibly important that we as parents constantly
check our school going children’s devices, no matter their age. The digital
world can be incredibly dangerous with cyber bullying and cyber trolls and
cyber wolves roaming around, looking for the innocent, naïve and vulnerable. Remember
that it doesn’t just happen to other children. It can also happen to our own
children. No one is immune to this.
Let’s teach our children how to safe guard not just their
devices, but also their minds and hearts. And let’s do this by guidance and
example. Don’t become swallowed into the matrix.
