Teacher Mel's Corner

It is very common for us as teachers and parents, to get sometimes caught up in a setting and enforcing rules that we lose sight of the importance of connecting with our children. When we are too strict, we can create an atmosphere of fear and resentment, which makes it difficult for our children to feel close to us.

Some tips for connecting with our kids:

• We need to be mindful of our tone of voice and body language. When we are talking to our children, we need to use a calm and patient tone. Try to avoid yelling or getting angry, as this will only make our children feel and become defensive.
• We should be listening to our children without judgment. When our child is talking to us, we really need to listen to what they have to say - we should not interrupt or try to fix their problems. They just want to know that we are there for them and that we care about what they are going through.
• Showing our children affection, like hugs, kisses, high fives or other physical expressions of affection what they are comfortable with can go a long way in building a strong connection with our children.
• Spending quality time together, making time each day to do something fun and enjoyable together, like playing a game, going for a walk, making a meal together, etc.
• Being respectful of our children's autonomy - as our children get older, they will start to want more control over their own lives. We need to give them age-appropriate choices and allow them to make mistakes.

It is always important to remember that there is a difference between being strict and firm. Being strict, you can end up being a harsh parent/teacher - and our children will run away from us. Being a firm parent/teacher also means that you can be a loving and supportive parent/teacher. We can find a balance between setting rules and connecting with our children. We just need to slow down and remember what is really important.

• We need to talk to our children about why we have the rules, especially as they get older. We can explain that we are setting rules to keep them safe and healthy, and that we love them and want what is best for them.
• Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, we need to bend the rules a little bit. This doesn't mean that we are giving up on our authority, but it does show our children that we are willing to listen to them and work with them. Being kind and approachable goes far in any situation.
• Be consistent. If we set a rule, we need to be sure that it is something we believe in and can enforce consistently. This will help our children learn what is expected of them.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. If we are struggling to connect with our children, talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist is important as they can often offer us support and guidance.

Connecting with our children is one of the most important parts of parenting and teaching. I hope this article helps all of us as adults to find a way to build our relationships with our children.